Terms of Service & Privacy Policy

Last Updated: Because apparently we need to date these things

The Readable Version (Because Legalese is a Crime Against Language)

Terms of Service: The “Don’t Be Terrible” Clause

By subscribing to The House of Wandering Thought, you agree to:

What you’re getting: Email updates containing fiction, personal essays, doodles, and the occasional existential spiral. Content frequency is “when it’s ready” not “every Tuesday at 9 AM” because I’m a writer, not a robot.

What you’re NOT getting: Spam. MLM pitches. Crypto schemes. Requests to join my downline. This is a one-person operation fueled by caffeine and spite toward writer’s block.

Your rights: You can unsubscribe anytime. No guilt trips. No “are you SURE?” pop-ups. Just a clean exit. I respect that my brand of chaos isn’t for everyone.

My rights: I reserve the right to write whatever genre strikes my fancy, make questionable artistic choices, and occasionally disappear into a writing cave for longer than socially acceptable.

Content ownership: Everything here is mine (©️ and all that jazz). You’re welcome to share posts via the share button, quote excerpts with attribution, or tell your book club about that weird story I wrote. You’re NOT welcome to copy-paste entire pieces elsewhere, claim them as your own, or train AI models on my work. I will find out, and I will be very disappointed in you.

Community standards: If I ever add a comments section and you use it to be racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or generally vile, you’re out. This is a house of wandering thought, not wandering bigotry.

Privacy Policy: What I Know and What I Don’t Care About

Email addresses: Yes, I have yours. That’s how email works. Substack has it too, because they run the platform. Neither of us are selling it to data brokers or using it for anything except sending you the newsletter you signed up for.

Analytics: Substack tells me basic stats like open rates and which posts people clicked on. I use this to figure out if anyone actually reads my stuff or if I’m shouting into the void. I cannot see your personal browsing history, your search queries, or what you had for breakfast (though I hope it was good).

Cookies: This site might use them for basic functionality. Not the chocolate chip kind, sadly. If you want to disable cookies, your browser can do that. I’m not here to track your every move across the internet—I’m barely keeping track of my own plot points.

Third parties: Substack is the platform, so they have their own privacy policy. I don’t share your info with anyone else. I don’t have a “marketing team” or “partners.” It’s just me, a laptop, and an ever-growing folder of half-finished drafts.

Your data rights: Want to know what I have? It’s your email and maybe your name if you provided it. Want me to delete it? Unsubscribe and it’s gone from my end. Substack might retain it for legal/operational reasons—check their policy for details.

Security: I’m not storing your data on a Post-it note or an unencrypted spreadsheet. Substack handles the technical security stuff because they’re actual professionals and I’m just a writer with a tech PhD who knows enough to not DIY email infrastructure.

The Serious Bit

Look, I’m not a lawyer, and this isn’t actual legal advice. This is my good-faith attempt to tell you, in human language, what subscribing means. If there’s ever a real legal dispute (please no), normal laws apply, and we’d probably both rather just handle it like adults over email.

If Substack’s terms and my terms conflict, Substack’s probably win because they’re the platform and have actual lawyers.

Questions?

If you have concerns about privacy, terms, or spotted a typo in this document (likely), email me. I’m a real person who responds to emails, not a faceless corporation with a support ticket system.

Changes to This Policy

If I ever need to update this, I’ll note it here and probably mention it in a newsletter. I’m not going to sneak in weird clauses while you’re not looking. That’s not my style.

TL;DR: I send you stories and thoughts. You can leave anytime. I don’t sell your data. Don’t be a jerk. We’re all good here.

Now go read something fun instead of legal documents.